I’m afraid a lot of younger women are looking to the “Real Housewives” for role models of how grown, “successful,” “wealthy,” “married” women behave. They have adopted the dominant cultural values: status& money before relationships.
You know what...I didn't think about dating from that perspective. Society does have this new standard when it comes to dating, which is based on reality tv and as you stated, "Real Housewives behavior."
Hello Dr. Yazeed, you hit the ball out the park as usual. I'm over 50 and I also feel "The List" is about materialistic. It scream self-entitlement. I was married to my husband for 15 years before he passed away in December 2014. For our first date he took me to lunch at a Cantonese restaurant. Other dates included the movies, plays, and concerts. I agree with your regarding the background of the study participants. Since we have no demographic or preliminary information of the respondents, it's hard to assess their ages, employment status, socioeconomic standing. Please keep educating your readers. As I said before, I'll follow you wherever you post.
If materialism was a list, lol. I don't know who these women are, nor do I know who raised them. Although I'm twice divorced, both of my husbands had good first date ideas (husband #1 took me antique shop hopping in a different city and husband #2 took me out to eat). I love plays, concerts, movies, and art exhibits which are not expensive dates. An expensive 1st date kinda throws me off because I become more focused on my appearance and mannerism in these places - which means I am not going to show up as my authentic self, which is the woman they should be getting to know first. Not having background info on these women leaves much to the imagination in regard to who they are, who raised them, and where did their perception of dating come from. Thank you so much for reading, Sonya! I appreciate your support.
YES!! I agree with every single solitary word of this article. It's really sad to see the horrible dating advice out there. I love that the one good date on your list was a picnic--that is a whole vibe and really great for getting to know someone. My first date with my husband was dinner at a nice (but not pretentious) restaurant, but before and after dinner we sat in the park and talked for hours while sipping on some tequila. LOL. The date lasted literally eight hours. We have been inseparable since. It was *always* about character and connection first. I wrote an article that is not dissimilar to yours a while back: https://medium.com/@SilleckConsultingServicesLLC/advice-that-can-actually-help-you-find-love-8b55feccf7f8
The picnic date was an entire vibe (and fyi...we had martini's before the picnic and ended up bar hopping up and down Magazine Street and the French Quarters in New Orleans for the rest of the night). Will definitely check out your article!
I love that!!! The best relationships have that element of "you're cool and I'd hang out with you even if I wasn't attracted to you, and/but I am." We are humans, and we need each other as humans. Sadly, the people following this toxic dating advice will probably find that out too late.
I am all for character over cost, but at what point do these dates become low effort. I have been on 2 dates with someone- the first date, a brewery we each drove to - the second date was on his truck bed eating pizza slices - he suggested that for the 3rd date, but we both had long days, so we didn't meet. I just think a bit more thought being put in would be nice...
I’m afraid a lot of younger women are looking to the “Real Housewives” for role models of how grown, “successful,” “wealthy,” “married” women behave. They have adopted the dominant cultural values: status& money before relationships.
You know what...I didn't think about dating from that perspective. Society does have this new standard when it comes to dating, which is based on reality tv and as you stated, "Real Housewives behavior."
Hello Dr. Yazeed, you hit the ball out the park as usual. I'm over 50 and I also feel "The List" is about materialistic. It scream self-entitlement. I was married to my husband for 15 years before he passed away in December 2014. For our first date he took me to lunch at a Cantonese restaurant. Other dates included the movies, plays, and concerts. I agree with your regarding the background of the study participants. Since we have no demographic or preliminary information of the respondents, it's hard to assess their ages, employment status, socioeconomic standing. Please keep educating your readers. As I said before, I'll follow you wherever you post.
If materialism was a list, lol. I don't know who these women are, nor do I know who raised them. Although I'm twice divorced, both of my husbands had good first date ideas (husband #1 took me antique shop hopping in a different city and husband #2 took me out to eat). I love plays, concerts, movies, and art exhibits which are not expensive dates. An expensive 1st date kinda throws me off because I become more focused on my appearance and mannerism in these places - which means I am not going to show up as my authentic self, which is the woman they should be getting to know first. Not having background info on these women leaves much to the imagination in regard to who they are, who raised them, and where did their perception of dating come from. Thank you so much for reading, Sonya! I appreciate your support.
YES!! I agree with every single solitary word of this article. It's really sad to see the horrible dating advice out there. I love that the one good date on your list was a picnic--that is a whole vibe and really great for getting to know someone. My first date with my husband was dinner at a nice (but not pretentious) restaurant, but before and after dinner we sat in the park and talked for hours while sipping on some tequila. LOL. The date lasted literally eight hours. We have been inseparable since. It was *always* about character and connection first. I wrote an article that is not dissimilar to yours a while back: https://medium.com/@SilleckConsultingServicesLLC/advice-that-can-actually-help-you-find-love-8b55feccf7f8
The picnic date was an entire vibe (and fyi...we had martini's before the picnic and ended up bar hopping up and down Magazine Street and the French Quarters in New Orleans for the rest of the night). Will definitely check out your article!
I love that!!! The best relationships have that element of "you're cool and I'd hang out with you even if I wasn't attracted to you, and/but I am." We are humans, and we need each other as humans. Sadly, the people following this toxic dating advice will probably find that out too late.
I 1000% agree.
I am all for character over cost, but at what point do these dates become low effort. I have been on 2 dates with someone- the first date, a brewery we each drove to - the second date was on his truck bed eating pizza slices - he suggested that for the 3rd date, but we both had long days, so we didn't meet. I just think a bit more thought being put in would be nice...
You're so welcome, Dr. Yazeed. I love your work. You're always insightful and informative.