Okay, moment of honesty…Season 6 was my first time watching Love Is Blind. Although very entertaining, I thought the majority of the participants needed therapy, not a spouse, but unfortunately these days emotional instability equates to good tv. In the beginning, I was intrigued with the concept of falling in love with someone before ever seeing them. Then the producers of the show let those people move in together, and all hell broke lose. The former therapist in me found herself yelling at my flat screen, as people started to unravel and their toxic traits came tumbling out.
The red flags were flagging! From Chelsea’s manipulative behaviors of crying and whining every 5 seconds when she couldn’t get her way with Jimmy, to Jeramey who didn’t come home to his fiancé, Laura because he stayed out until 5am with Sarah Ann, whom he was also feeling in the pods, honey I was eating my popcorn, shaking my hand, and saying “Damn” a lot. But the person who gave me the most concern was Clay Gravesande.
A handsome gentleman, who drinks his own kool aid ALOT. The first red flag was when he stated in the pod that looks mattered and that his wife had to have a body. “Sir…the show is called Love Is Blind. What part of the blind are you missing?” When Amber Desiree “AD” (who later became his fiancé on the show) should have listened to her gut, and probably moved on, she instead leaned in.
But if I thought him needing a sexy wife was his biggest red flag, I was in for a surprise. Towards the middle of the season Clay began to harp on the fact that his father had cheated on his mother, and would sometimes bring him along for his escapades. This is when I yelled at AD through my television and told her, “Run girl, run! You’re in danger.” It was at this point that my 30+ years of experience dealing with the male species, told me Clay that was damaged goods. I’ve been married to two emotionally unavailable men in the past, and each relationship ended on a sour note and with a nasty divorce. If AD didn’t see the red flags, I saw them for her.
Clay could not move past the fact that his parents were married for 24 years before divorcing, due to his dads infidelity. He harbored a deep hurt regarding the failure of their relationship, which was hindering him from moving forward in his own relationship. Somehow Clay believed that cheating was embedded in his DNA, and just knew he was bound to somehow cheat on AD. And this isn’t a hypothetical analysis, he literally said this over and over again.
Well we all should have seen it coming; Clay leaving AD at the alter, after suddenly deciding he wasn’t emotionally ready to get married. I wasn’t surprised, and AD cried, but it was the liberating talk that Clay’s mama, Margarita Gravesande gave his dad, Trevor Gravesande, that really became the season’s grand finale.
When I tell you she read her ex-husband for filth on national television, God is my witness. I didn’t know if I should have cried, cheered, or gave her a champagne toast, because that was the most eloquent read I’ve ever seen, and one I didn’t know that I needed!
In a nutshell, Margarita told her ex-husband, Trevor that Clay was hurting because of his indiscretions during their marriage. She calmly expressed that because Clay had witnessed his infidelity up close and in person, their son somehow felt that he too would one day cheat on his wife if he ever got married. Margarita summed it up with Trevor needed to explain some things to his son, and then apologize - no excuses, just an apology. In the end, Trevor tried to smooth things over with a sly smile as he implied that Clay needed to meet someone like Margarita. I had to blink twice, because the pin on his lapel read Alpha Phi Alpha, but he was definitely giving me Kappa Alpha Psi player vibes (IYKYK).
Then Margarita responded with one of the best reads on reality tv; one that instantly made her the star of the entire show. “You met me, but you wasn’t good to me!”
Whew child!!!!!!
Margarita resonated with me and I’m sure other Black women too. Why? Because she bucked our cultural norms, and went against the societal messages that have often discourage Black women from showing our emotions and being vulnerable. Margarita stood on business, and gave Trevor what he didn’t know he needed - a graceful taste of accountability.
Cheers to Margarita for unintentionally stealing the grand finale of Season 6 of Love Is Blind, and as Glamour Magazine stated -giving this season an actual soul. Yes to more producers depicting positive Black women showing emotional intelligence on reality television. I’m here for all of it!
Did you watch Season 6 of Love Is Blind? If so, what were your thoughts regarding the relationship dynamics between Clay and AD? What did you think about Margarita and Trevor’s ‘talk’ after Clay left AD at the alter? Comment below.
Dr. Carey Yazeed is a Behavioral Scientist and bestselling author, who’s also a sucker for a good read and reality tv!
I’ve never watched Love is Blind, but now I’m intrigued!
Clay’s mom….. those words dropped like a feather but sounded like bricks when it hit the floor. I am happy she read him on TV.