Black Superwoman Syndrome: Stop Telling Black Women To Be Strong

Two weeks ago I posted an article discussing how Black women are tired of fighting for a seat at the table, and although it was widely received, there were a few naysayers who felt I was whining and needed to put on my ‘big girl panties’ and deal with it. And that’s the damn problem…

Everyone else is encouraged to relax and regroup. Others are told it’s okay to take off their super hero cape and not be all things to all people all of the time, but not Black women. And honestly…I think I’m more tired of THAT than I am of the micro aggressions, racial and gender discrimination, and harassment.

Instead of being encouraged to sometimes take a step back, society perpetuates the Black Superwoman Syndrome. A term coined by Dr. Cheryl L. Woods-Giscombe, a professor at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill School of Nursing, Black Superwoman Syndrome is defined as a Black woman who feel obligated to engage in the following behaviors (Ward, 2020):

• Manifest strength

• Suppress our emotions

• Resist being vulnerable or dependent upon others

• Having an undeniable determination to succeed despite significantly limited resources

• Help others

The comments and feedback I received from some indicated that Black women are suppose to be super heroes and instead of being vulnerable and sharing how we truly feel sometimes, we need to suck it up and get back out there and build our own tables. Society (including other Black men and other Black women) do not create safe spaces for us to let our hair down, to be vulnerable and to acknowledge that we sometimes get tired of being strong, building, supporting, and suppressing. Hell, we’ve been building tables and shit since the beginning of time. When is it okay for us to stop and rest? Well apparently it’s never a good time in the eyes of some folk, which brings us full circle to the Black Superwoman Syndrome.

People cringe when I associate certain things with slavery, well get uncomfortable because the Black Superwoman Syndrome is another result of trauma handed down by our ancestors. In my article (cite article) I discuss how Black women were used during slavery for gynecology studies and were not given anesthesia - hence why many in the medical field have this notion that Black folk can tolerate higher pain levels than other groups and if we ask for relief we must have an addiction problem. No - it’s because we actually can not endure high pain levels, but subconsciously it has been passed down to us from one generation to the next that we must suppress our emotions and resist being vulnerable.

Our intense desire to be strong is a result of survival and an emotion we have been conditioned to believe that it will lead to our acceptance by white society, “You have to work twice as hard just to be acknowledge that you are on their level.” So we continue to make a way out of no way because that is all that many of us know.

Look, I get tired - we all do, but I believe growth comes from having open discussions and dialogue about how we are feeling, in addition to our ability to express those feelings without fear of being judged or worse…suffer unspecific consequences because we dared to show some type of vulnerability. But then again, this responsibility doesn’t fall solely on our shoulders. Society has to also accept responsibility in the role that it plays and how the pain of Black women is hardly ever acknowledged, let alone that we have emotions. We all play a significant role in the foster of unhealthy behaviors and the repackaging of generational trauma.

Black women have to understand that sometimes things are going to fall apart and it’s okay to vent, cry, scream, and become angry and not give a damn about what society says or how we may be judged. But society needs to also acknowledge that Black women need the same encouragement that is given to everyone else!

Tell us to take a mental health day, to go to the spa and have a mimosa and a massage, to spend the day shopping and brunching with friends, or to sit at home in our PJ’s and watch Netflix and chill. Listen when we complain and not pass judgement. Give us a hug and let us know you understand and acknowledge our pain. When you see we lack resources, provide them. When others are dehumanizing us - speak up and let them know Black women are humans too! But whatever you do- please stop pushing us to be strong 24/7. Stop with this super woman narrative - the strong Black woman narrative.

Photos by Nino Kojo and TopSphere Media on Unsplash

Dr. Carey Yazeed is a behavioral scientist and the author of Unbreak My Soul: How Black Women Can Begin To Heal From Workplace Trauma. Dr. Yazeed specializes in creating safe spaces for professional Black women to exhale. Interested in having her speak at your upcoming event, click here.

Unbreak My Soul: How Black Women Can Begin To Heal From Workplace Trauma is now available as a digital download! Paperback copies are also available on Amazon.