For 24 years, I worked in the field of social services as a social worker, where I was brainwashed into believing that those of us who provided services to the needy were not supposed to be compensated equally, if at all. “We don’t do it for the money. We do it to serve others,” was the social work battle cry, and I drunk the kool aid for a long ass time.
In 2017 I left social services and anything remotely related to being a social worker. I had given all that I could, while making little to no money throughout the years. I had grown tired of helping everyone else, then coming home and having to be the social worker for my damn self, because I could barely keep my own lights on most of the time. As James Baldwin so eloquently stated, “It is expensive to be poor.”
I experienced a mindset shift when I no longer had a steady paycheck, and was out here in these entrepreneurship streets trying to survive. I quickly realized that you can’t afford to give anything away for free these days, and that includes people picking your brain for information and knowledge that you had to PAY FOR, and probably still owe on it! Can you say Sallie Mae, her brother Advantage, and their cousin Mohela?
Back in the day when I offered business coaching, I was adamant with my clients, “Stop giving shit away for free! All you’re doing is creating a following of people who will never pay you for ANYTHING!” This is also true when you undervalue yourself and offer your products and services at deep discounted prices. One day you’ll look up and realize your email list is full of people who don’t see the value of investing in themselves, who refuse to pay for anything, and will dump you in a hot minute for the next professional who is offering a freebie. They are literally trying to build a business, become a better human being, or generate more income for FREE 99, and social media doesn’t make it any better.
Recently, I’ve noticed a pattern on LinkedIn. People now go under your post where you are advertising a service, and begin to complain about it not being free, or they try to shame you for charging. Random people (because these are individuals I have never interacted with a day in my life) act like they are appalled that I am not giving away the speaking engagements that I research and share in my weekly newsletter - Secrets of Six Figure Speakers, “This is a great service. Too bad it isn’t free!” Then there are the women who baulk because I charge a fee to participate in the monthly Safe Spaces I offer; where I sit for almost 2 hours and listen to hurt women open up and share about their toxic work places, and then offer suggestions on how they can begin to move forward.
And I can’t forget about the individuals who complain about the fee that I charge for the Unbreak My Soul Facilitator Certification Program, which is designed around my research, and trains others to create safe spaces for professional Black women - they too feel I should just give them all of this information for little to nothing. I once had a person tell me they were using my workbook to facilitate groups, and she would have the participants to buy a copy so I could get a ‘few coins’. I sent her an email explaining that she needed to sign a licensing agreement, and the only way to do that was if she became a certified facilitator. She proceeded to run down her resume to me - suggesting that she didn’t need to participate in the certification training, and that she couldn’t afford to attend it. Her tone was, “You should just let me use your name and products for FREE.” (Deep, deep Negro spiritual sigh).
This is why I created a licensing agreement in the first place - a legal document that protects the utilization of my workbook and the training I created. Everone doesn’t know what they are doing, and I don’t need anyone out there using my work to cause more harm to Black women who are already damaged. This is why I hired a lawyer who specializes in intellectual property - because what you are not going to do is steal MY creations; things I have put a lot of time, MONEY, blood, sweat, and tears into making.
For clarity, here’s why I charge for everything, including for people to pick my brain and you should too:
I have earned a Bachelor, Masters, and Ph.D. and NONE of them were free. I did not go to an HBCU and two PWI’s on scholarship. My parents and I had to pay those schools before I could sit in a classroom on their campuses. I had to pay for textbooks, gas to get on campus and to my internships, etc, etc, etc… My education wasn’t free.
Entergy, my electric company, wants their money by the 15th of every month or I will be sitting in the dark.
All of the trainings, certifications, and continuing education I have achieved over the last 32 years were not free. I have spent thousands of dollars to obtain the knowledge that I now possess.
It takes money to run a small business. I have to pay for my subscriptions to Zoom, Canva, Quickbooks, and the internet each month. I have to pay taxes, the accountant who does my taxes, in addition to the various designers that I use for my social media and website designs. I also have to invest in learning new knowledge and techniques.
I have to eat, and if you haven’t noticed - groceries ain’t cheap!
I have to pay for medical insurance out of pocket. There is no employer covering half. I have to come up with 100% on my own, every month.
So when keyboard gangsters get on Beyonce’s internet and start hollering about why I need to give them X,Y, and Z for free, I roll my eyes before taking a sip of my strawberry lemonade, and mumbling under my breath, “The devil is a lie.”
The bottomline is this…I can not afford to give you ANYTHING for free no matter how good or bad the economy is. And even if I could, I’m not. So instead of publicly begging for a handout, or trying to bully or shame me into giving you my products and services for free, try saving up the money that is needed and make an investment in yourself, OR just keep scrolling and leave folk on the internet alone.
Dr. Carey Yazeed is Behavioral Scientist and 3 x Bestselling Author
Capitalism LOVES free. As you note, it also loves it when we pay all of your bills on time. Free is canceled.
Bravo! I agree wholeheartedly with your recent post about not working for free.